Forgiveness

Nelson Mandela is without a doubt one of the great men in our day. He’s respected and admired throughout the world. Most people know that he spent 27 years in prison for his beliefs. Away from his wife and children.

On his release he became President of South Africa and was instrumental in destroying apartheid. President Bill Clinton was recently asked about his interview with President Mandela following his release from prison.

Clinton said he noticed that he seemed angry as he walked out of the prison gates. “Are you still angry?” he said. Mandela acknowledged that he had been bitter and angry. After all he was incarcerated for 27 years.

But he also recognized that being set free did not alleviate the inner prison that he felt. He was still in prison with his anger and bitterness. “I let it go; I forgave all who had been responsible for my imprisonment.” And then he said he realized real freedom.

Abraham Lincoln was asked how he was going to treat the rebellious Southerners when they were finally defeated and returned to the Union. The questioner expected that Lincoln would respond with a spirit of vengeance, but he answered, “I will treat them as if they had never been away.”

There are things about forgiveness that we often forget. It is the most difficult thing to ask for and it is the most difficult thing to give.

Another emotional ailment that afflicts many people from teenagers to seniors is a low self-esteem. This condition often leads to self-pity; feeling sorry for oneself.

Unfortunately, a low self-esteem often leads to participating in maladaptive behaviors. Those suffering from a low self-esteem often drink too much and engage in sexual promiscuity. These are all evidence of an attempt to escape the reality of low esteem.

Where does this problem begin? It begins in babyhood. When a parent tells a child they are bad, no good, dumb, or evil or worse; it becomes ingrained into the psyche of the child. When the parent continues these observations into later childhood and the early teens, it is no wonder the teenager suffers from a low self-esteem and often rebellious attitudes.

It is a psychological principle that the young teen tends to live up or down to the expectations of their elders, especially their parents.

The positive, helpful, encouraging begins in the same place as the negative input does. In the mind. Compliments and support go a long way to build confidence. Bragging about the child, attending Parent-teacher conferences, helping with lessons and getting the child to participate in events that will develop their skills: either in classes like karate, music and sports or anything that will develop confidence. Discipline should not be overlooked but never in the context of how bad the child is.

By the way, this process is a life-long job; as long as you live. A further word. Remind the child that he/she is loved; without exception or reservation. There is an old adage that I recommend. “The family that plays together stays together.”

Pessimism is an ailment that is deadly. A pessimist is not only in a prison; he/she is in a dungeon. For them the world is dull gray. Everything bad that can happen, will or is happening.

They call themselves realists but in reality they are hopeless. When pessimism destroys hope, the dungeon grows darker. Someone has said, “No one knows enough to be a pessimist.” The sun will rise, the weather will change, life goes on, the best is yet to be. As sure as the rainbow.

Need I remind you that history affirms that for Dark Ages there is a Renaissance; for every Depression there is Prosperity.

I am a student of biology; the study of life. And the process of theistic evolution. It seems to me that optimism is indigenous to us, you and me. It made growth and change possible. Pessimism would have negated life. Optimism has made mankind possible, progressive with potential.

Amen. Selah. So be it.